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7 Funny, Freaky or Unique Underwear Stories for Halloween (Number 6 Will Blow You Up!)

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Although everyday we hear or read underwear stories from some of our customers, these are usually limited to trivial matters, as in sizing, fit, style or fabric. In rare occasions, we have listened to some quite funny stories about male underwear. Needless to say, not all of them can be shared.

But that is not stopping us from sharing 7 of the funnier, freaky or most unique underwear stories we have heard/read recently. To our surprise, some of these stories were made public by accidental means, but in other occasions, reality bites. Please read on as we present you these underwear stories.

seven unique, bizarre, freaky or eccentric underwear stories for Halloween

Image by midorisyu

1. An underpants myth debunked.

We like to believe that our testes should deserve the royal treatment. But nature is wiser, thus it figured that testes should be contained in external sacks in order to keep them at a lower temperature level than the rest of the body.

I, like most people, am aware of the common knowledge that testicles should be kept cool and fresh. For instance, I personally try to sleep without any underwear, first to avoid any overheating of my testes, secondly for comfort.

This overheating belief has created several myths, some of which have been denied and confirmed recently by Dr Edmund Sabanegh on interview for the Cleveland Clinic.

For time's sake, we'll summarize his conclusions:

  • Fitted underwear does not affect infertility.
  • Laptops, cellphones, hot saunas, drugs, tobacco and steroids probably do.

While we will not go into much detail about each, we are advocates of control and measure. We believe a normal lifestyle, with a normal use of these devices and/or habits should not affect your fertility or testosterone levels. Depending on your goals and habits, you will probably need to ask a doctor when in doubt. Enough said.

2. The Most Uncomfortable Men's Underwear Ever?

Kaye Moreles, from the most recent LA's Style Fashion Week displayed probably one of the most uncomfortable men's underwear we've ever seen.

In an effort of apparently pure aesthetic pleasure with less than zero regards to the male anatomy, Kaye presented what seems more like a giant origami replacement for underwear, or a bad toilet papering joke.

Of course we are all used to the eccentricities of some fashion styles, but I believe this really breaks the mold in terms of usability and common sense. Not only does it look terribly uncomfortable, but it also seems totally impractical.

Whereas regular underwear is supposed to be worn under your pants, for the wearer, Kaye's design seems to basically deny the existence of any other garment besides her piece.

Needless to say, we doubt there's hardly an effort to make a comfortable/practical piece to be worn anywhere beyond the catwalk. But we will not add more to the critique, see for yourself.

3. A Female Perspective From the Meatpacking District.

Another from the catwalk, Laney Moore, from Cosmopolitan magazine shares her experience attending the backstage of a male underwear fashion show by 2XIST.

It's really worthwhile to check her cosmo article, mainly because of the gallery. But it's also interesting to read 2XIST's designer Jason Scarlatti's (as well as the models) opinion on males and underwear.

It seems he also feels some males have narrowed down their lifestyle because of limiting their underwear styles. Also, we agree, there should be underwear for many occasions, including black tie underwear.

While her article is literally about the bulge, we are left with a feeling of missing the actual product features presented on that show. We sort of understand her.

4. Radiation Protective Underwear. Yeah, right.

Some Dr, probably working for some company, at some university, concluded that men should worry about cell-phone radiation and underwear. Coinciding with our former Dr's conclusion, his lab test have proven some sort of correlation between less sperm count and more cell-phone radiation.

Well, of course, he has confirmed that when testes are exposed to extreme radio waves (as in a constant stream of waves passing through them like in voice conversations), the activity level decreases. I am no scientist, but I expect that any activity of any human cell will likely decrease after being exposed to extremely-higher-than-usual radio-activity levels. Enough said, again. Myth totally debunked.

5. Skateboarding and Pantie-Hoarding

That a man steals underwear is no story. We often read or hear these types of stories without regards of time or place. But when a man steals 500 panties, that is a different story. Naturally we felt obliged to share it based mostly on, err, size, or the amount of underwear that was stolen, but please hold, there's more than 500 stolen skivvies in the Bay area.

Eighteen year-old Benjamin Hawkins apparently started stealing women's underwear since he was 17. Mostly obtained during lawful visits to friends and neighbors.

When police caught him a few days ago, while skateboarding, he had five pairs shoved down his pants.

Once the police went to his room at his mom's house, they found he had amassed over 500 pairs, two recently stolen guns, a 22 rifle and a double barrel shotgun, as well as stolen jewelry.

At the moment of his arrest, he raised higher suspicion by answering "you can search my house, but you can't search my room" to the Petaluma police officers. But again, an underwear fetish can caught anyone off guard.

6. The controversial Pink Pantie

A man in Dover woke up at some hospital wearing nothing but pink panties. Ok, although generally speaking that should not be newsworthy. What made a stir in the media is that the man actually sued the hospital for "severe emotional stress", after waking up wearing said pink panties.

The story is that this guy used to be an employee of the Delaware Surgery Center and went to get a colonoscopy treatment, but asked to be anesthetized for the procedure.

We really don't know how common is getting that type of treatment without anesthesia, but apparently his former colleagues know better. Needless to say, after waking and noticing the pink panties, the man felt seriously affected.

The issue would have not received any attention, had him and the hospital reached and agreement. But after two years minus two days, the case remained unsolved with no side backing up as of October 10th, 2014. We don't know the outcome yet, but we really think underwear should never be the cause of controversy.

7. An Insightful Piece on Egalitarianism and Underwear

Noah Berlatsky, from Squire magazine, reviews José Alaniz's new book, Death, Disability, and the Superhero. Although little can we say about the book since we have not read it, we'll comment on Noah's article.

What makes a normal person go out to the street wearing his/her panties outside his pants? The philosophy surrounding superheroes peculiar (almost to the point of fetish) behavior, is revived.

Apparently, Mr Alaniz's work brings light to the issue by pointing out how not only superhumans are empowered by a fantasy, but how even outcasts or everyday Joe's can become better, and on equal importance.

Noah Berlatsky says "Superheroes are empowering fantasies", and we'll even add, underwear is an empowering reality.

  • underwear stories
  • halloween
  • bizarre
  • funny
  • woman
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